When Everything Is Gone
by sheepfairy
Summary: Laura is no longer as sure as she once was.


Disclaimer: Ron Moore said it doesn't bother him, and I can only hope that NBC's lawyers have similar views.  
Author's Note: This was a response to a challenge on chamalladreams with the prompt 'ice'. It was written way back before the second season aired, so it's AU after KLG II.

When Everything Is Gone

The stairway went down far further than she would have thought possible. The surface of Kobol had been warm and humid, but as they descended into the tomb of Athena, the air grew steadily colder. She stumbled slightly on a step, and Billy gave her a concerned look. He had been strongly against her coming down to the planet, but she had been insistent. Tigh had supported her, if only because he wanted her as far away from the fleet as possible.

"I'm fine," she said to Billy, even though she wasn't. Her already weak body was strained by the unusual amount of physical activity, and the cold wasn't helping matters any. If they had to go too much further she was going to collapse.

After the holocaust, her belief in the Lords and her own place in their plan had slowly filled the gaping hole in her soul that the destruction and cancer had left. When the Commander had been shot she had been both shocked and upset, but she hadn't been afraid for his life. Everything that was happening had happened before, and it was all the will of the gods. He would recover, he would come to his senses, and he would lead the survivors when she no longer could.

But in the dark she could not see how far down the stairs kept going, and doubt was beginning to creep into her bones along with the cold. The image of Adama lying in the hospital bed, far too pale, wouldn't leave her mind. Along with it was the image of Lt. Thrace, her body mangled and her eyes haunted when she'd returned from Caprica. Starbuck had handed over the arrow without a word, and Laura hadn't seen her since. She had thought little of it at the time, caught up in the joy of having the arrow, but now it was sneaking into her mind and chipping away at her self-assurence.

"Hey," said Lee from the front of the procession, knocking Roslin out of her reverie. "We've the door."

Laura felt a surge of warmth. A few more steps and she could make out the door from the dark as well, and the lights they were carrying showed an impression that matched the arrow she was holding. One of the pilots pushed against the door, but it didn't budge. Laura gently pushed him out of her way, and placed the arrow in its groove.

Normally, she would have had Lieutenant Apollo do this, because the symmetry of his name was too perfect to pass on. However, he hadn't spoken more than five words at a time to her since his father had been shot, and he hadn't even been able to meet her eyes once. She decided that it would be better to do it herself.

Her mind at ease and full of faith again, Laura twisted the arrow and shoved the door open.

The bright light blinded her for a moment after the dark of the stairs, and the sudden rush of cold went through her jacket like it was nothing.

They were in a large cavern, and the ceiling went up far above their heads, with the light barely glinting of the huge icicles that were hanging down from the uneven roof. The floor, on the other hand, was smooth, and inlaid with gold – thousands of little gold dots interspersed with slightly larger ones. Lines curved around though different points, and sporadically there was writing. Explanations for an ancient map. And in the center of all the curving and dotted gold was a huge circle, set with blue and green. Dr. Baltar was curled up into a ball on top of it, mumbling to himself and rocking back and forth. His nervous movements were smudging blood all over the beautiful blue planet. To the left of him stood Lt. Valerii, and to the right was Shelley Godfrey.

The arrow fell out of its place and clicked against the marble floor. Laura didn't hear it, though. The only thing she could register was the high priestess Elosha, standing behind Baltar. Elosha, who should still have been on the Battlestar Galactica.

Lee was the first to move. He lunged towards Valerii, but she was too far away, and she shot him twice before he even got close. Around Laura, the few guards that Tigh had sent with her moved to fire, but they were to slow to stand a chance against the cylons.

Just a few seconds, and she was alone. The room was silent, except for Dr. Baltar's faint mumblings and the sounds of the cylons moving towards her.

Laura still stood, in the same position, frozen.

"Hello, Madam President," said the thing named Godfrey as they walked closer. "So nice of you to join us."

"We love you," said Valerii earnestly, causing Godfrey to roll her eyes. Its eyes. Everything was so confusing now. Wasn't it just a day ago that she had been so sure? Just an hour ago, even.

"I said that you would find earth," said Elosha, ignoring the other two. And Laura could see the curving path from where she was standing to the bright blue sphere. They had already come so far, and it only would have taken a few more jumps. They were so close it hurt.

"It is a shame that you won't live to see it."

Laura felt the bullet rip through her chest, and the pain of cancer was replaced with something new and sharper. Elosha was standing above her now. How had that happened? She had been so far away before. But now Elosha was above her, and her eyes were blazing with the fires of faith, and her voice allowed no doubt. "None of your people will. Don't worry, though, we'll take good care of it."

And then Elosha was gone was gone, the cylons' soft footsteps walking away from her and back to the broken doctor. She managed to turn her head to the side, and she could see the ice crystals already forming in Billy's blood. Everything was so cold.

She could see the Commander's look of hurt betrayal, Thrace's vacant, empty eyes, and the worry that had begun to put lines on Billy's young face. And all of it had been for nothing. As she died, the last shreds of her faith deserted her, leaving only the ice.


End file.
